My Generation.........X

From this....

I am a member of Generation X, who knew? I was born in the late sixties after the Beatles invasion and the moon shot. The Vietnam War ended, Watergate happened, Reagan was elected, drugs exploded onto the scene and a new disease called AIDS arrived. Some other events were the Challenger explosion, Chernobyl disaster, 1984 LA Olympics and eventually the end of the Cold War. There were bombings in the Middle East, a classmate's brother was stationed at the barracks in Beirut during one. She was so worried, the family could not get in touch with him, this was before cell phones. Scary times. I also remember where I was when the Challenger tragedy happened. I had just finished biology class and had walked into the common area of my dorm to see it happen live on the TV. Shock is a total understatement as to what I saw and how I felt. It was like a bad dream on a sunny day. I will never forget it.

to this in 73 seconds.

My generation is said to be very informal in style. We have a "what's in it for me" attitude. We are considered to have an identity crisis, we aren't sure where we fit in. Where do we belong? We are the first to grow up with the developing digital age. We grew up with more divorce and just more of everything. We also are very adaptable and independent. We strive for a balance between work and play. This characteristic I totally agree with, I feel my generation does try to balance all aspects of life: work, play, family, friends, love and loss. I don’t know if I agree with the fact that we are much more informal. Perhaps that is because I’m closer to the beginning than the end of this group. I grew up taught to respect and honor my elders. Please and thank you, as well as yes sir and no ma’am, were expected. As a girl, I was seen and not heard for the most part. I grew out of that pretty fast. I bumped heads with my mother on many occasions, but that could be because I was and still am a daddy’s girl.

We may be the lost generation but with all we have seen and done, the future is bright.

Groups, Team and Leadership Styles

Skills I can offer to the group (Minimum of 3):

1. Creative thinking
2. Proofreading and editing (I worked in publishing for 18 years)
3. Design and layout (if needed)
4. Organization (not my strongest area)
5. Problem solving (outside the box thinking)

Propose one code of conduct for the group.

1. Everyone needs to communicate with respect on a regular basis with the entire team.
2. If you need help, please ask for it.
3. All ideas are welcome and no judgements offered.

What are my conflict rankings:

1. Avoidance
2. Collaborate
3. Accommodate
4. Compromise
5. Competition

I was surprised that avoidance was still first for me but then again only one point separated 1-4. Actually 3 and 4 were a tie. I have always hated conflict, I grew up in a house with a lot of conflict and yelling so when I was younger, I tried to avoid it. As I have gotten older, my perspective has changed and now I try to see all sides and make a more informed decision or compromise.

Relationships and Conflict

This week is another hard one for me, as for many years when conflict arose, I withdrew. I would definitely have been classified as non-assertive. I hate conflict, even today, I try to avoid people who are in fights. They make me feel uncomfortable. Its as if I am stuck in the middle of two feuding armies and ask to choose between them.When this happens among friends or family, it is all the worse. As time has passed, though, I can now see both sides of an argument. When asked for an opinion I am then better equipped to give feedback. I still don't like it but I'm better able to handle my part in the process of resolution. 

A suppressed conflict that comes to mind was a content conflict, each of us were positive we were correct in our view. I eventually withdrew from the conflict. I thought, What's the point? She won't agree with me. I can't win this fight. I decided to retreat, simply because I was tired of fighting. The result was that we walked around each other on eggshells for a week or so. Eventually, after the emotions calmed, we talked through the issue and the friendship continued.

The other expressed conflict example could be any one of a million between my mother and I. These probably were all value conflicts, usually relating to MONEY. It has taken me years to find my voice with my mother. Do we still argue? Yes. Let just say now, we have the ability to see each others perspective on the issue. We can agree to disagree. Most recently, though, my mother has become as huge support for me. We have come along way in learning how to talk to one another, which I am gratefully for. We just keep the lines of communication open but still have an occasional hiccup.

Overall, I would say I have gone from nonassertiveness to assertiveness. This is a continual process for me and some days are better than others. The point is to keep trying. Isn't that why they say, practice makes perfect. I will always strive for perfection but I also realize sometimes I'm not. I'm okay with that, as long as I did my very best.

Just keep talking........ never close the lines of communication....for that is the only way conflicts can be resolved.

The Art of Listening

I have always thought of myself as a good listener, but after taking the self-assessment quiz, it turns out I can use some practice. We all could. After watching and listening to the TED video, I chose to do the first exercise: three minutes of silence. You would think this to be an easy feat, especially since I live alone. Not true, as I relaxed in my chair, no TV or radio on, just me. I began to notice all those other sounds that I can't control, my dogs breathing, the ticking of the clock in the hall, and the wind outside the house. Silence, can true silence exist in our world of today? I do agree with the speaker that listening is a skill to be taught. Better yet a thing we all should practice doing actively. He offers us five great tips to try and practice. I think I'll try the rest of them over the next few weeks. Perhaps if I practice long enough, then in the future my understanding for complex situation will improve and there will be no more misunderstandings. I can only practice the skills and see where they take me. I've posted the TED video for you to check out. What do you think?

Go listen to the world. What do you hear?