My Generation.........X

From this....

I am a member of Generation X, who knew? I was born in the late sixties after the Beatles invasion and the moon shot. The Vietnam War ended, Watergate happened, Reagan was elected, drugs exploded onto the scene and a new disease called AIDS arrived. Some other events were the Challenger explosion, Chernobyl disaster, 1984 LA Olympics and eventually the end of the Cold War. There were bombings in the Middle East, a classmate's brother was stationed at the barracks in Beirut during one. She was so worried, the family could not get in touch with him, this was before cell phones. Scary times. I also remember where I was when the Challenger tragedy happened. I had just finished biology class and had walked into the common area of my dorm to see it happen live on the TV. Shock is a total understatement as to what I saw and how I felt. It was like a bad dream on a sunny day. I will never forget it.

to this in 73 seconds.

My generation is said to be very informal in style. We have a "what's in it for me" attitude. We are considered to have an identity crisis, we aren't sure where we fit in. Where do we belong? We are the first to grow up with the developing digital age. We grew up with more divorce and just more of everything. We also are very adaptable and independent. We strive for a balance between work and play. This characteristic I totally agree with, I feel my generation does try to balance all aspects of life: work, play, family, friends, love and loss. I don’t know if I agree with the fact that we are much more informal. Perhaps that is because I’m closer to the beginning than the end of this group. I grew up taught to respect and honor my elders. Please and thank you, as well as yes sir and no ma’am, were expected. As a girl, I was seen and not heard for the most part. I grew out of that pretty fast. I bumped heads with my mother on many occasions, but that could be because I was and still am a daddy’s girl.

We may be the lost generation but with all we have seen and done, the future is bright.

Groups, Team and Leadership Styles

Skills I can offer to the group (Minimum of 3):

1. Creative thinking
2. Proofreading and editing (I worked in publishing for 18 years)
3. Design and layout (if needed)
4. Organization (not my strongest area)
5. Problem solving (outside the box thinking)

Propose one code of conduct for the group.

1. Everyone needs to communicate with respect on a regular basis with the entire team.
2. If you need help, please ask for it.
3. All ideas are welcome and no judgements offered.

What are my conflict rankings:

1. Avoidance
2. Collaborate
3. Accommodate
4. Compromise
5. Competition

I was surprised that avoidance was still first for me but then again only one point separated 1-4. Actually 3 and 4 were a tie. I have always hated conflict, I grew up in a house with a lot of conflict and yelling so when I was younger, I tried to avoid it. As I have gotten older, my perspective has changed and now I try to see all sides and make a more informed decision or compromise.

Relationships and Conflict

This week is another hard one for me, as for many years when conflict arose, I withdrew. I would definitely have been classified as non-assertive. I hate conflict, even today, I try to avoid people who are in fights. They make me feel uncomfortable. Its as if I am stuck in the middle of two feuding armies and ask to choose between them.When this happens among friends or family, it is all the worse. As time has passed, though, I can now see both sides of an argument. When asked for an opinion I am then better equipped to give feedback. I still don't like it but I'm better able to handle my part in the process of resolution. 

A suppressed conflict that comes to mind was a content conflict, each of us were positive we were correct in our view. I eventually withdrew from the conflict. I thought, What's the point? She won't agree with me. I can't win this fight. I decided to retreat, simply because I was tired of fighting. The result was that we walked around each other on eggshells for a week or so. Eventually, after the emotions calmed, we talked through the issue and the friendship continued.

The other expressed conflict example could be any one of a million between my mother and I. These probably were all value conflicts, usually relating to MONEY. It has taken me years to find my voice with my mother. Do we still argue? Yes. Let just say now, we have the ability to see each others perspective on the issue. We can agree to disagree. Most recently, though, my mother has become as huge support for me. We have come along way in learning how to talk to one another, which I am gratefully for. We just keep the lines of communication open but still have an occasional hiccup.

Overall, I would say I have gone from nonassertiveness to assertiveness. This is a continual process for me and some days are better than others. The point is to keep trying. Isn't that why they say, practice makes perfect. I will always strive for perfection but I also realize sometimes I'm not. I'm okay with that, as long as I did my very best.

Just keep talking........ never close the lines of communication....for that is the only way conflicts can be resolved.

The Art of Listening

I have always thought of myself as a good listener, but after taking the self-assessment quiz, it turns out I can use some practice. We all could. After watching and listening to the TED video, I chose to do the first exercise: three minutes of silence. You would think this to be an easy feat, especially since I live alone. Not true, as I relaxed in my chair, no TV or radio on, just me. I began to notice all those other sounds that I can't control, my dogs breathing, the ticking of the clock in the hall, and the wind outside the house. Silence, can true silence exist in our world of today? I do agree with the speaker that listening is a skill to be taught. Better yet a thing we all should practice doing actively. He offers us five great tips to try and practice. I think I'll try the rest of them over the next few weeks. Perhaps if I practice long enough, then in the future my understanding for complex situation will improve and there will be no more misunderstandings. I can only practice the skills and see where they take me. I've posted the TED video for you to check out. What do you think?

Go listen to the world. What do you hear?

Non-verbal communication

This has got to be my favorite car commercial ever. I chose this as my nonverbal communication video because none of the actors say a single word. Granted the music plays a huge part in this video but the gestures, postures and artifacts used by the little kid alone made a huge impact on me. It made me want to go buy a new Passat. As you progress through the video, you can see his disappointment, frustration, disbelief and finally triumph, all through his posture and gestures. The hunched shoulders, how he drops his hands to his side when his power isn't working.  Then move on to the parents, quietly spying on their charge, the raised eyebrow and grin of the dad after he helps his son triumph over the Jetta. We should all have parents like that. You can even see how proximity to an item makes it seems like the boy's power is increasing. All of this without ever even seeing his face. WOW!

Like I said before, my favorite car commercial ever, and will be for a long time. Just watching it makes me feel happy and powerful. Do you ever get that feeling? Have you a favorite commercial?
I'd love to hear about your choice.

Language

This week I had trouble making a decision as to which article to read, so I read three of them.

1. The Truth About Change
2. Language & Society
3. Wired Words

As I read each article, they began to touch on the same observations. Since studying foreign languages in the past, I found this very interesting. I like language and the use of words. For instance, the use of the plural--mouses--to reference the computer accessory. I still use mice when speaking of them but from the article this is no longer the norm. Technology has changed how we use our words. It has changed the actual words and created new ones for us to use. They also talked of the way our language spreads as it changes. I was surprised that middle-class groups are the group that innovate change and women among them lead the charge for change. Talk about empowerment.

One thing I hadn't heard of before was something called the Northern Cities Vowel Shift, truthfully I'm still not sure I understand what it is. I will have to do some more reading on the matter. I also learned that there are three types of language spread: the cascade, the contra-hierarchical, and finally the wave. The spread can occur faster or slower depending on our society. Languages can make us feel part of a group or perhaps superior to one another. Right or wrong, language plays apart of the world around us. I want to know more about how our choice of words limit our progress in daily life, work and the world. Do we as Americans have less power on the world stage because we no longer use proper grammar? We don't know how to effectively speak and use language? Do we really say anything at all, anymore?

I hope that after reading these three articles I will just be more aware of my choices. Maybe I'll take an extra breath before I speak. As to where or how I might use this new knowledge, that remains to be determined. Where, might be a future job after I'm done with school. It could be in the next five minutes, on the phone with my friend. The point is to learn more about myself, my choices, the world in which I live, and then apply the knowledge. I'm sure going to try.

Perception

A stereotype is for me, a general thought or perception of a group not based on the differences within each individual of the group. For the most part, I would be stereotyped as a fat lazy chick, with no brains, that eats everything in sight, is fun at parties and can't get a job--the female version of Bluto in Animal House.

The fat part is true, I am a woman of size, and I am fun a parties when I choose to be. I really don't enjoy going to parties, I am a homebody. I enjoy my leisure time by doing absolutely nothing, some of the time, if in your mind that makes me lazy, then I'm okay with that. What is untrue is that I eat everything in sight, I'm actually quite picky and on a slightly restricted diet. Brains, I have quite a lot of them, I don't always use them to my full ability but that is my choice. I play word games and my favorite game show is Jeopardy, I'm pretty good at it too. Finally, it is true that I am currently unemployment, after almost 19 years at the same company, I was downsized by our current economy. Do I want a job, absolutely. Could I find a job, NO. Which I why I chose to go back to school, to increase my skill set and make myself more attractive in the job markets of today.

When we communicate with our friends, family, co-workers, and even strangers, somewhere in the grand scheme, a stereotype was used. It becomes harmful when we choose to use only the stereotype to make judgments, form questions, answer questions, and in general, hold a conversation. If we use a stereotype as a helpful starting point, the place where we start to find out the truth about a friend, family member, a co-worker or a stranger, it becomes a living thing meant to be adapted as we learn more about the people we surround ourselves with. It isn't just black or white, right or wrong but somewhere in the middle. If we could all be more open-minded about each other, would the world be a better place to live? Would we be more curious about each other? Would we be less afraid to talk to one another? Could we change our perceptions of those around us? Could we change ourselves and our beliefs? Some food for thought, lets think and talk about it.